Adakah Aku Yang Berubah?

Salam,

Sedar x sedar, it's already my third week in Brunei by now. However, I sense that I'm changing.. eversince my departure from the UK. I am not the person I used to be anymore, not the unpredictable, "normal" me. I am getting more & more quiet than ever, prefer being on my own, safely and feeling secured in my own home, my own room.

Yes, I am hiding a deep secret that I shared with only some of my friends. At times I feel so worried that silence would be the only cure to it. I know the day will come and until then, the rush and fast heart beats are my bestfriends. My sleeping times are so overspent. I cannot bring myself to wake up as early as possible. It's as if my mind needs the rest and the body is willingly giving up and surrendering to the restless mind by keeping on sleeping. This should be stopped. I need the life I had before, back!

Ok ok now... let's change the topic... Raya is just around the corner and yet the preparations to it are near to nil. Usually by this time around, I'd be the one happily getting rid of all the stubborn dusts hiding on the furnitures. The house entirely is not ready and doesn't even have the raya look yet. If only I could be more efficient and more willing to start the cleaning up SOON!

Btw, another mission accomplished recently - the visit to my grandparents' graveyard. Yup, kubur mereka bergandingan seolah-olah sedang bersanding. Alangkah bahagianya, dapat bersama-sama dan berhampiran dengan satu dengan yang lain sehingga ke akhir hayat. Alhamdulillah dapat juga ku menyampaikan hajat untuk menyedekahkan surah Yassin & tahlil buat mereka berdua, serta kaum keluarga yang terlebih dahulu pergi menghadap Illahi.

Salah satu aktiviti harian sekarang ni adalah menunaikan sembahyang terawih berjemaah di surau kg pada setiap malam di hari-hari terakhir Ramadhan ini. Ahh, sudah terlalu lama aku tidak pergi ke surau tersebut. Setiap malam aku terkenangkan kisah-kisah lalu di zaman masih muda remajaku bersama adik dan sepupu2ku. Kenangan berterawih dengan arwah nenek di surau itu juga, kenangan terawih yang mempunyai saat "rehat".. Sembahyg dua rakaat, 2 rakaat seterusnya berehat.. kemudian sambung semula.. kekeke.. aduhaii kenangan2 itu sungguh manis sekali :~o]

Kini terfikir, adakah aku akan masih berkesempatan untuk menjalani Ramadhan yang akan dtg? Wallahuaklam.. Hanya Tuhan yang maha mengetahui segalanya..

-Sehingga berjumpa lagi di post yang akan dtg-