Friday, July 31, 2009

Mengapa Oh Mengapa... =S

Assalamualaikum..

Tadi baru terbaca blog Lutfi pasal Backstreet Boys (BSB) akan mengadakan concert tour di merata UK.. Sedihnya mereka akan berada di Newcastle for the tour pada bulan November ni.. By then I'll be happily at home in Brunei (or perhaps somewhere else? InsyaALLAH, Amin). It's been a dream of mine untuk menyaksikan konsert kumpulan BSB ni semenjak penubuhan kumpulan tersebut. Been dreaming for them buat concert in Brunei but the dream shattered after concerts are banned in Brunei.. Then ada peluang, it's so near, beberapa minit je dari Durham by train/car BUT I'm no longer here.. *sob* *sob*.. Tapi takpe mungkin ada lagi peluang di lain kali.. =D (Kena berfikiran positif ni.. xleh bersedih lagi, bahaya untuk kesihatan hehe)

Anyway, I'm still thinking for the right date untuk balik to Brunei and it seems that banyak lagi benda yang kena settle ni. One of the reasons terpaksa balik awal sikit coz aku tak nak membebankan my parents any longer. I am here under their scholarship and I was here as a pre-service student which means, purely student yang depended on government scholarship and now purely from my parents' scholarship. The longer I stay, the more I spent (on food, online shopping - not personal je, tuk family juga) and that's why I need to go home SOON. Lagipun I've told this decisions to several friends and they are actually quite surprised by it. Sebenarnya I'd love to stay sampai at least early September tapi memandangkan aku rasanya mempunyai sedikit masalah, so, we'll just wait and see apa yang bakal menjadi conclusion kepada semua ini.

Furthermore, aku kena turun London a few days before departure untuk menguruskan hal dengan Brunei Student Unit terlebih dahulu. Xdelah boleh main redah, terus direct gi Heathrow and balik.. Banyak benda yang kena selesaikan dahulu. Ohh salah satu ni ha kotak2 yang perlu aku ship balik Brunei. Rasanya aku dah isi borang2 ni masa kat Brunei. Mungkin tertinggal kat bilik Brunei kot.. hmmm kena buat lagi sekali la ni (malasnyaaaa *yawn*)

Oh, hari ini aku teman Amalina puasa.. bolehlah puasa sunat sekali plus bolehlah mengurangkan sekilo atau setengah kilo paling kurang (alahai, kalau dah sungkai {berbuka posa} tu dengan menu yg berbagai xde la senangnya nak turun berat badan *ahaks*). Hmm, hari ni cuaca panas tapi tadi gi post office ambil kotak Dijah sekejap, angin fuhhh berhembus dengan sejuknya.. Nasib la tak tunjuk kebal x pakai jacket.. hehe.. Buka almari, konon nak pilih jaket tapi baru teringat that mostly jaket2 dah pack di dalam kotak yg sudah bergam rapi. Tadi tgh hari sempat la gam kemas2 dan bubuh alamat for my 6 boxes sehingga ke carikkan gam yang terakhir.. sampai habis gam dah so kena la pergi beli lagi soon.. 2 boxes lagi kena gam smart2 and nak penuhkan 2 beg2 kecik tu and plan nak bungkus ngan plastik, saja je, untuk lebih secure =D

Cerita pasal beg nih, semalam tersemangat pula aku pack barang2 yang aku nak bawak balik, dah agak kemas la juga the main luggage tu.. timbang2 ada la dah dalam 13 kilo. Hopefully aku masih kena bagi 35 kg from government tapi kalau tak pun tetap 25kg, so another 12 kg + 7kg beg handcarry.. wahh masih boleh bershopping (ewah2.. dah mula x sedar diri lagi hehe) Alamak, terlupa pulak timbangan tersebut belum masuk lagi baju2 yang aku nak bawak balik. Dah la kat Brunei baju tinggal seciput. Bukak almari, xde la sikit baju nak bawak balik tu.. Baju tuk bersuka ria, baju tido, tudung, alamak toletteries lagi.. byknya benda nak kena bwk ni.. Dah la pegi sorang2.. xpe2, I survived coming to Durham from Heathrow kenapa tidak from Durham to London kan, insyaALLAH boleh =)

Panjangnya celoteh aku kali ni.. Luaran nampak happy je kan aku ni, tapi deep down inside.. haha, sapa nak tau gali la sendiri (bergurau je..). Tapi for sure the realiti yang semuanya indah pun, banyak benda yang tersirat dan tersurat sebenarnya. Banyak perkara yang masih terpendam.. Ala macam bom.. Tiba masanya meletup juga, tapi kalau ditakdirkan tidak meletup, akan kekal macam tu je la.. Doa2 je semuanya akan berjalan dengan lancar. Untuk mengakhiri this post, nak kongsi sikit ayat2 power ni, aku copy paste from my cousin punya facebook.. untuk renungkan bersama..

Jika doamu dikabulkan Tuhan,
bersyukurlah

Jika doamu lambat dikabulkan Tuhan,
bersabarlah dan teruskan usahamu kerana Tuhan ingin mendugamu

Jika doamu tidak dikabulkan Tuhan,
redhalah kerana Tuhan mempunyai rancangan yang lebih baik untukmu

p/s Blog kali ni xnak simpan lirik lagu tapi aku rasa ada dah lagu sesuai for next post. Lagu tu memang ngam sgt2 dengan apa yang tersirat di dalam hati tapi tak terungkap.. So, sila tunggukan kemunculannya (aku xde klip video la tapi.. hehe whooppss)

Okay then dah 8.30 lebih ni, kejap lagi nak start masak2 for berbuka.
Hmmm tetiba terfikir: "Sempat ke tak aku posa kat Durham kali ni ek?"
- Nursyeffarni HS -

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Berkebun Demi Mengurangkan Stress =)

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ini Alhamdulillah beberapa perkara dapat juga aku selesaikan walaupun ada ketika hampir2 hendak berputus asa. Hingga kini hanya tinggal satu kotak saja lagi yang perlu ku penuhkan serta 1 setengah daripada 2 beg berukuran kecil untuk diisi dengan barang2. Dari semalam aku sudah mulakan sesi memunggah barang2, walaupun waktu ketika itu dah pukul 11.30pm kalau tidak silap, tapi dengan gigih ku teruskan juga dalam urusan kerja men-cellotape kotak2 tersebut. Sorry Amalina yang tgh study kat luar bilik terpaksa menjadi mangsa pendengar bunyi2 carikkan gam tersebut. Several benda2 yg tak masuk lagi termasuklah my printer, some files, baju2 untuk dipakai.. xkan la aku nak simpan semua awal ni kan haha =P

Satu lagi, something yang agak lama juga tertangguh sudah ku selesaikan. Alhamdulillah, it will take 2 weeks untuk mendapat jawapan manakala satu lagi perkara penting yang aku sedang tunggu jawapannya hanya akan ada dalam masa 3 minggu. Jadi, buat masa ni all I have to do is pray, hope that both will get positive results. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin. Most of you might not know what it's all about tapi biar je dulu, insyaALLAh kalau dah ada jawapan, will tell you guys.. tu pun it depends on whom I wish to tell them to.. =] Yang penting, kepada pembaca sekalian, kepada teman2, kaum family, doakan saja kejayaan aku di sini k.

This time, for this post entry, I'd love to avoid any sad stories. So, let me just with you what I did untuk mengurangkan perasaan stress (oh ya, I'm been experiencing serangan sakit di dada yang datang secara mengejut.. I've been having this "penyakit" dah lama dah and one thing for sure I realized would be that it happened everytime aku dilanda perasaan stress + depressed yang melampau and it happened baru2 ni lagi.. Adoii.. I think it's all about what has been happening around me - refer previous posts). So, one of the things I did and got addicted to was..

The addiction towards Farm Town - a game in Facebook where you get to start your own farm.. mula2 aku tak ambik peduli sangat pun dengan game nih. To me it was nothing, tanam2 benda pun sampai habis, gone to waste tak di ambik peduli.. Pastu I started to play around with it, discovering new things, found out that you even meet all people whom are playing at the same time with you at a place called "Market Place" and macam2 lah kebaikan this game.. I even met a lady anak 5 who live dekat2 Durham ni juga while working on her farm.. Perlahan-lahan, began to love this game and even my housemates realized how addicted I could get. Well, biasalah dah tanam2 sayur, we need to be aware of when sayur2 tu akan masak. Not only sayur, even trees - apple, orange, coconut, cherry, you name it! Di samping animals - ayam, kucing, sheep, horse, donkey yang memeriahkan suasana kebun.. Even a friend yang aku introduce this game pun dah mula lawan tauke.. he managed to come near to my level of farmer.. hmmpphh.. haha.. xpe biar lambat, asal selamat =D Therefore, sesapa yang ingin mengurangkan level stress anda, silalah berkebun tapi for those yang mudah hanyut dan akan terlupa untuk melakukan benda2 lain yang lebih penting macam study ke, etc etc, kena pandai bahagikan masa la kan ;o)

Below are pictures of my farm.. sayangnya didn;t took pictures masa mula2 start:


Confuse what it's all about? Try playing it yourself.. hehe =)

Okaylah to end this post entry, wanna share another special song, lagu yang penuh makna dan menginsafkan.. Fahamkan bait2 liriknya ya.

Lagu: KepadaNYA
Penyanyi: Taufik Batisah & Hady Mirza (My luv hehe) both singaporeans
[TB - dinyanyikan oleh Taufik Batisah, HM - dinyanyikan oleh Hady Mirza]

TB (#1)
Jiwa terseksa
Hina terasa
Berikan ku pelita
Hadirkan cahaya

HM (#2)
Ku masih tertanya
Kemana arahku
Untuk hidup di dunia
Beriku petanda

Chorus:
TB (#3)
Wahai manusia
Sedarlah dirimu
Hidup di dunia, hanya sementara
Dekatkan diri padaNYA

HM (#4)
Biar terluka
Hapuskan sangsimu
IA lah petunjuk buat segalanya
Arahkan diri padaNYA

Ooohh... Ooohh...
(#5)
Arahkan dirimu
KepadaNYA

Repeat #1
Repeat #3 & Repeat #4 (x2)

Bridge: (#6)
Dan bila kau tertanya
Kemanakah hala jalan, hidupmu
IA lah jawapan, untukmu

Repeat #3 & Repeat #4

Simply click here to listen at youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPG-1kzS6QA

-Semoga hari besok akan lebih dipenuhi dengan kegembiraan.. insyaALLAH, Amin..-

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Aku Harus Pergi, Aku Mesti Pergi...

Assalamualaikum...

It's gonna be exactly a week this Wednesday since late grandma left us.. I thought I would be strong enough by now to accept that fact but I'm totally wrong.. The memories of her & late grandad are continuosly playing over and over again inside my head, in my sleep.. It's so hard to accept that the next time I arrive home, there won't be them to visit next door just to inform that I'm back. No more nini bini who used to sit in front the TV, her favourite spot eversince she started having difficulty to walk that much. No more nini laki who used to walk in and out of the house to have a smoke (something he stopped doing after experiencing a minor stroke and complaints of dizzyness everytime he stands/sits).

Oh GOD, please keep me strong. I know all of these would be hard. This was the year I'll be celebrating Raya in Brunei after 2 years missing it and knowing that Raya will be so different this year broke my heart. I am blessed that I still have both my grandparents on my father's side but it's not the same with late grandparents from my mom's side whom I've lived with and around for the past 25 years. It would be heart shattering to even look out from my bedroom window that had the view of my aunt's house with late grandma room's window looking back at me..

Nini.. Maafkan aku, I still can't accept this fact, forgive me.. Tidak bermaksud untuk menangisi pemergian kamu berdua tapi hati ini sgt menyayangi, ingatan ini tidak pernah gagal untuk mengingati kamu.. Dengan ikhlas dan penuh redha, aku doakan dan memohon kepadaNya agar roh nini laki & nini bini di tempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman, dijauhkan daripada azab kubur & di tempatkan di bawah lindunganNya di alam sana. Amin Ya Rabbalalamin..

So, there are several things that I knew that I should do..

# Go home, to the place where I belong

# Attend & be present for nini's makan2 tahlil 40 hari

# Go and pay a visit to grandparents' graveyard, sedekahkan yassin & tahlil

And before that, several things that need to clear up first would be..

# Try find all the things family members want me to buy for them

# Pack all my things into the boxes

# Fill in all appropriate forms for going home

# Pack things to bring home

# Buy ticket to London

# Clear up current room

# Prepare mentally, physically & emotionally for all these

-Goodbye Durham.. Kalau masih ada jodoh, I'll be coming back again, insyaALLAH-

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Belated Updates..

Salam,

Dek kerana terlalu banyak benda yang terjadi di dalam masa yang singkat, ada beberapa perkara yang terlupa seketika untuk di coretkan..

>> Dual Celebration

The same day we (myself, Lutfi & Rosmin) arrived back from London, was the same day Kak Zarina & family invited us all for a birthday celebration of hers and her daughter, Izzah at her place. We arrived in Bowburn at around 6am (or before? hmm can't remember now) and sesampai di rumah #60, did some cleaning around the house, had the best morning shower and went back to sleep, on a much comfy place called bed! XD Planned earlier to join Amalina giving hands for help for K.Zarina's celebration but it happened that once I fell back to sleep, it was a very deep sleep, dreamless & just pure sleep and woke up around 11am. Did some laundry and went to K.Zarina's place and help around until just on time before the party started (well, first 2 guests had arrived by that time) and we (Me & Amalina) need to get back home and make ourselves prettier and ready for the celebration.

By the time we arrived back, invited guests are all there, enjoying the food and we were just on time for cake cutting moment. Being a "shy" person, didn't took that much photos and duduk diam2 jadi budak baik and tolong K.Zarina with the refills. It's been a while that I was involved in a majlis keramaian after the UIF. Complete story about the celebration bolehlah didapati di blog Kak Zarina.

>> Half Blood Prince.. Where is mine?

Another thing I did was watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with K.Zila, Lutfi, Rosmin & Andy (Flatmate Lutfi) di Empire cinema, Gates, Newcastle. I am sorry, I think because this movie of Harry potter skipped a year from being out in cinemas, hilang segala semangat untuk mengingatkan apa yang terjadi in the previous movies and can't even remember what I read in the novel.. One more thing, I am not the kind that will be more than happy to give my opinions about movies right after watching them. I'd give simple comments like: Okay, Not bad, Best but not deeper than that. Sorry la, I know I am the "boring" type here..

Before the start of the movie, the other 4 had a VERY quick simple dinner of Burger/Pitta @ Nandos and we had to rushed oleh kerana sebab2 yang boleh di elak, TETAPI tidak dapat dielakkan. Then lepas movie, us 4 (Andy wished to be dropped back home) had a "heart to heart" (tia karang..) @ Costa services near Bowburn. Had Tuna Melt & Hot Choc with whipped cream & choc stick (all time fav.. ) and the session reminds Lutfi of the sweet memory he had with Zeah (excluded me n Mahadi yg ada diketika itu haha..) and even hesitate to sit at the exact same spot we once sat.. Whoppss kenapa perlu mengeji orang di dalam blog post ini? Hmmm..

Okay lah.. Yeah, that was exactly, actually just a few hours before my late grandma passed away back home Brunei time.. It's always true, when you had so much fun, when you are too happy one moment and the next, there you are, burried with tears, feeling so down, depressed, sad.. Hidup umpama roda, di suatu masa kita akan berada di atas, di masa yang lain kita akan berada di bawah pula. Setiap kegembiraan pasti akan diiringi dengan kesedihan.. Hidup tidak akan sentiasa gembira, dan tidak juga akan sentiasa duka. Setiap perkara yang terjadi itu ada sebab2 dan hikmah disebaliknya.. InsyaALLAH.

Nukilan Nursyeffarni in Bowburn house #3