The Cold Summer..

Assalamualaikum,

Blog ni sebenarnya pending a few days..

So, aku teruskan je kay =)

Adoiiii letihnya aku menedit, x reti2 bahasa jugak benda ni nak align.. uwaaaa

Giving up upon editing.. here you go..

1/In general

If before I actually mengeluh dengan cuaca yg agak panas but now I miss that hot sunny weather! Aduhhaiii... It is in fact cold (However I still open the bedroom's window every night haha). Cuaca seolah-olah tahu akan perasaanku kini.. Aku di dalam dilemma.. dibelenggu resah dan gelisah tapi hatiku seolah-olah mati untuk menangisi takdir ini. Adakah aku sudah semakin bersedia menempuhi hidupku dihari-hari yang mendatang? Aku sendiri kurang pasti akan hakikat yang tersurat dan tersirat dan hanya ALLAH s.w.t yang maha mengetahui segala-galanya dan aku yakin Dia sedang bersama denganku di saat2 begini dan di setiap saat detik perjalanan hidup setiap hamba-hambaNya. Setelah apa yang berlaku, aku sendiri tidak pasti how to react to it.. Too many things happened in so little time. I'm praying hard, I'm hoping high that it's gonna have a happy ending. AMIN..

Picture 1: Gambar di luar bilik Dijah on the 7th, it's so gloomy...

2/Officially moved in

I have officially moved into the room I use to share with Zeah located downstairs. I moved in the night after k.nur's parents departure back to M'sia. I apologize for the rush to move in. I don't know why but I think I feel much more homely in this room plus I feel more comfortable being near to all my things. Bilik inilah yg banyak meninggalkan kenangan2, manis, pahit, gembira & sedih. Bilik yg menyaksikan deraian airmata, ketegangan, stress, depressions and lots more. Ya ALLAH, aku sebenarnya sedih mengenangkan semua itu tapi ku tabahkan juga hatiku.

Picture 2: My bed together with my boxes to be shipped back to Brunei (hehehe)

Picture 3: My bags yg penuh barang2 entah apa2.. hahaha

3/Emosi terganggu

Sebelum ini aku pernah dengar kata2 orang bahawa sekiranya kita masak, masaklah dengan penuh kasih sayang. Jangan sekali-kali berperasaan yg negative semasa memasak kerana ianya boleh menyebabkan "kekurangan" kepada hasil makanan itu. X pernah pun memikirkan secara mendalam tetapi setelah menyaksikan sendiri insiden seorang teman, rasanya it does have an effect.. hmm, need to find more evidences though. Satu lagi, semalam aku main Lutfi's star board game lagi tapi aku x menang besar! Well, I won 2nd place on the 1st round but kalah dgn hebatnya on the 2nd round. Then we (me & Kam) played Wii games just after midnyte. Aku kalah jugak, aku rasa semua ini macam ada kaitan dengan current emosi aku.. Yeah sure I can still smile, laugh and you might see me having fun, being happy in the outside but deep down inside, I am suffering. Aku rasa sangat kosong. I don;t even know how to think anymore. I feel so empty.. So sad that I feel so weak to even cry. So stressed out that I can't even feel the real feelings of joy anymore.

----- Breaking free from the sad thoughts for a while -----

4/ Spontaneous shopping

TQ kak nur for bringing me along to newcastle. We parked at metrocenter and took the bus to newcastle city center and went shopping (ohhh it's more to a window shopping to me & kam, although I bought 1 item jugak) at TJ Hughes and had late lunch/early dinner at Al-Basha Restaurant after that. This happened on the 8th of June 2009. The next day I volunteered to accompany k.nur babysitting anak of K.zarina: Iffah & Izzah. For someone who lack the skill of babysitting for sure I experienced difficulties in accomodating to the needs of kids. Aku jaga jugak anak buah aku back home but most of the essential things were done by my beloved father. Wow, the experience of jaga budak2 ni makes me feel so kagum dengan keazaman para kaum ibu&ayah yg meneruskan pembelajaran mereka pada masa yg sama perlu menjaga anak2. Aku salute habis2.. I am impressed and I don't think I can do that in the future.. hmmm.. (",) Oh anyway, today (10th June) went back to TJ Hughes wif K.nur to exchange baju yg aku beli. Tu lah last tym inda mau testing, sempit rupanya but thankfully dpt tukar. Tq for menemani aku k.nur. I appreciate it so much. Ohh tidak semana-mana I fall in love with the bags di sana and I remembered my mother and I feel so happy that I have found a handbag for her. So, aku borong la bag2.. yg mana mostlynya rasa2 untuk aku ja hahaha.. Hey the price's not that bad so, why not kan ;oD Ok, no more shopping (yeahh right! Not the right words, especially when the summer sale is coming haha XD)

5/ The fan

Bukan fans a.k.a peminat.. aku xde sefamous mana pun hehehe. By the way, in my previous blog aku ada kata that I bought a deskfan sebab at that time cuaca agak panas. Tapi a few days after I eventually bought the fan through online, the weather changes and it become so cold and gloomy. I've waiting the arrival of the fan since then and it arrived only today (June 10th) and aku dah pakai dah selepas ianya selesai di assemble. Sejuk2 pun aku masih pakai kipas jua.. XD

Picture 4: The deskfan.. tadaaaa.. feels like being back home, with kipas n aircon being my bestfriends at night =)

6/ Lain-Lain Hal

Semenjak balik Uk ni aku sudah semakin rajin memasak haha.. tengah belajar la ni, mana tau diam2 ada rombongan meminang kah apa.. LOL.. Anyways, saya budak baru belajar, kalau masakan x sedap mana mintak tolong maafkan. Semalam aku masak mee goreng inda pakai perencah. Alhamdulillah menjadi juga.

Picture 5: Mee yg aku masak untuk hidang buat Lutfi & Rosmin yg dtg berkunjung also for my beloved lovely housemates.

Btw, I was actually thinking of inserting pictures of all the food yg aku masak sepanjang di sini tapi bila perut sudah lapar, makanan udah terhidang, x sempat pun tangkap gambar udah ngappp habis.. hehehe. Ohhh anyway, hampir2 terlupa, a few days back aku pergi grocery shopping. Mula2 ngan K.nur kat Tesco extra in Durham masa Kam pergi Cardiff and bought few things for our house and we went for a 2nd grocery shopping at ASDA in Spennymore where I also bought benda2 personal hahaha.. Ya ALLAH, shopping sakan bulan ani! Okay lepas ni tinggal, duduk diam2 di rumah supaya inda shopping.. yeaaaa right!!

-- Nursyeff@rni HS --

p/s: A simple note for you from me..

Bila hati ku sudah terbuka untuk berbicara denganmu,

In bermakna apa yg kita bicarakan itu adalah hanya antara aku dan kamu.

Sekali hati ku terluka,

Mana mungkin aku akan dapat merawatnya dengan pantas.

Aku pasti kalau kamu berada di tempat ku kini,

Kamu juga akan merasakan derita yg aku tanggung itu tidak ringan.

Walaupun ku rasakan semua ini amat berat untuk aku terima,

Aku tetap percaya bahawa semua ini ada hikmah disebaliknya, insyaALLAH.

p/p/s: Teman2 semua, doakan yg terbaik untuk aku ya.