Puasa Musim Summer

Salam,

# Puasa demi kesihatan

Hari ni hari kedua berpuasa. Semalam 1st time cuba2 untuk berpuasa time summer. Alhamdulillah terlaksana juga. InsyaALLAH akan diteruskan semampuku. Btw, berpuasa di musim summer ni byk betul dugaan. Especially bila diri dikelilingi ngan personal food kat dalam bilik.. hehe and tinggal di bilik tingkat bawah yg dekat dgn kitchen.. tu yg byk dugaan. So, kalau dah kurang termampu sikit tu aku bawak la rehat2, baring2 and took some nap now and then. I'll take this puasa session sebagai sebahagian cara untuk mengekalkan kesihatan diri serta as a practice for Ramadhan puasa in September. Lagipun, bukannya baru sedar tapi I've realized that semenjak aku dtg uk semula ni, berat badan semakin menjadi-jadi.. orang lain makin slim aku the opposite pulak.. haha.. tapi I'm not desperate la nak kuruskan secara drastik.. perlahan-lahan. Lagipun, I still look happy walaupun dah semakin tembam *ahaks* (Hopefully baju2 raya di Brunei maseh muat.. hehehe)

# Rindu pada dia dan kamu

It's been a while haven't called home sampai satu tahap yg tak ku sangka pun akan terjadi that my mom texted me asking why I didn't call her. She never acted that way before and I knew that she sensed that something must be wrong.. In fact, YES there is something wrong! But then, only some knew about it and to those who knew please, I beg you all jangan bagitau orang lain.. I'll open up when I feel that it's been settled and I think you all knew that aku memang jenis yg suka memendamkan perasaan dan masalah pada diri sendiri. Kalau I feel like I wanna share, only those selected will be told. Pada yg tidak diberitahu, jangan berkecil hati. That's just my nature.. That the real me that you have to live with.

Lately I can't deny that I miss everyone back home. Yes, every single one of them including my cats. I have to agree with what zeah told me on the phone few days back.. what I am going through now is the feeling of "being lonely BUT not alone". Yup Zeah, especially without you around! *sigh*. I don't know with you all but have you ever been in the situation where whenever you think of home, naturally the eyes went watery & at times crying would really help in reducing the feeling of missing home.. I've been in that situation too frequently lately and I think I know exactly what I need to do. So, dearest friends, do prepare for any sudden decision I made which might surprise you. I wanna be home and have the chance to visit my grandpa's graveyard & be present during his tahlil ceremonies. Be at home to accompany mom for sleepover with grandma next door. Honestly that's what I really feel doing right now. I MISS BRUNEI to bits!

# Mengapa kau pergi..?

Ya, mengapa? Mengapa kau pergi di kala aku masih memerlukan? Mengapa harus meninggalkan aku tanpa penjelasan? Tapi sekiranya pemergianmu itu membuatkan dirimu bahagia, aku turut gembira buatmu.. Pernahkan kamu wahai pembaca merasa sebegini? Seseorang pergi dari hidupmu tanpa relamu. Pergi tanpa menjelaskan apa2 padamu? Pergi.. Pergi begitu sahaja.. Tapi itu adalah pilihan mereka! Mengapa perlu sedih? Mengapa perlu marah? Mengapa perlu kecewa? Semua ini lumrah manusia yang mudah terasa dengan apa2 hal pun yg mempunyai kaitan dengan mereka.

Aku sendiri pernah dan seringkali berperasaan demikian tetapi aku seringkali mengingatkan diri ini dan juga mengingatkan teman2 bahawa setiap apa yang seorang individu itu lakukan ada mempunyai sebab tersendiri. They have their reasons for doing it. Same goes to me. Setiap langkah yang ku ambil, setiap jalan yang ku pilih ada sebab-sebab yang tertentu.. Aku tidak akan menghalang jalan yang kamu pilih wahai teman, sepertimana aku harap kamu tidak akan menghalang jalan yang aku pilih..

# Repacking kotak2 ku

Hari ini, walaupun cahaya matahari sungguh2 serupa sudah dengan chaya matahari di bumi Brunei. Aku sendiri bersetuju dengan status seorang teman di facebook baru2 ini yg menyatakan: "I can't tell the difference between UK weather and Brunei cuaca. Panaas!! " Jom teka2 whose status was this? Definitely not someone from Durham ;o) I'm not that sure but kata org it's the heatwave kah apa? Yg penting I won;t go out that much this week. Especially time posa2 ani and I wanna be close to my deskfan 24/7 as possible.

Anyway, out of no plan, I decided to rombak some of my boxes & repacked the things inside. I'm so worried. My things which are still to be use byk and I don;t know cukup atau inda the boxes tu nanti. That includes my printer, my chair, baju2, brg2 kan bawa balik for Raya etc. Sakit kepala aku! But it's fun "spring cleaning" my boxes hehehe.

# 5 Days left for....?

I can't believe that I'm gonna missed it this year.. You might be wondering what it is but I'll blog about it when the day comes. Surprise2.. tunggu.. ahaks

Nursyeff@rni in Bowburn